Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He did a backflip because drugs
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
