I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
