Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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