stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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