Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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