I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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