We're like a lot better than the average bears
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
