you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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