im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
