You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize