And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
