Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
