we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
