His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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