Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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