PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize