i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
