nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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