Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize