I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
