I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
