Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
