so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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