I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
