C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The struggles of a small town man whore
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
