so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
