Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
