You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
