Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Houston, we have a squirter
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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