I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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