Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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