Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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