Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize