She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
