fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
What drink are we having for lunch?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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