He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
