You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize