i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
