'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
