Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
