3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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