I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the day after is always just damage control
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
