Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
