i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
someone get that fucking seahorse.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
