it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
