Too much gin, very little bucket
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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