There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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