Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
