I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
