I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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