I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
