Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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