2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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