So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
