At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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