so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
