If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize