i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
