Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
