ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
