just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
