I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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