he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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