Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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